Early Morning

I slept at 9pm last night. I was so, so tired.

First thing this morning, I checked my messages and James had sent Rosie’s cremation photos last night.

So yes, another round of crying.

Previously, I’ve never requested for photos as I think it would be too painful. I trust James completely to do an honest and compassionate job.  After all, it has been so many years  and he has taken care of the final rites of all our pets. Vixey was the first.  We could witness Vixey’s and Mac’s as it was done here at that time.

And I’m also deeply overwhelmed and very, very grateful for all the kind messages of condolences and support.  Thank you very much, dear friends. I truly feel so very blessed that even though we have not met face-to-face, you are here with me, helping me through this difficult time.

Yesterday, I cleared the upstairs litter box and also Rosie’s bedroom breakfast snack tray. There are still all the tubs of different kibble in the kitchen, which we will finish in time. Rosie was a kibble-queen. She loved kibble. And the treats too – I started giving treats during the time when Rosie could only eat liquid food but it was only for less than a week because her appetite improved very quickly and she was able to eat home-cooked. I have lots of treats left (Kit Cat and Ciao). And also cans of AD and Recovery, which I am sure our other cats will enjoy as “treats”.

Yesterday too, I handed over the left-over Doxy, Baytril and Ursofalk to the nearest clinic so that other pets may benefit. Many clinics do not carry Ursofalk and pet-owners have to buy it from outside. Yet, the pharmacies in Subang Jaya do not sell it loose. It has to be purchased as a box (of 100 capsules) and is extremely pricey. I managed to get it loose at the PJ vet.

I’ve asked two vets and they said the rest of the supplements can be given to our cats. Tiger has started throwing fits again so he would benefit. I was told earlier that the fits is probably related to his liver too. It comes off and on, as though it’s “seasonal”.

I only managed to cut the cloth for the bags yesterday but didn’t get to sew, so sewing has to begin today.

The equilibrium outside changed a lot because Rosie got sick and we had to confine her inside the house. So now, it’s time to balance the equilibrium again. Heidi’s habits were unaffected by Rosie’s illness in that she still lived in the house. In fact, Heidi accompanied Rosie a lot while Daffodil and Ginger distanced themselves (for their own reasons). Rosie would sleep between our pillows while Heidi would sleep on the other side of my pillow, so I would have two cats beside me every night. Heidi continues to sleep there now.

Daffodil used to live on our bed, only coming down for meals and to do her business outside in the garden, but ever since Rosie got sick (we started by confining Rosie in a cage for a few days then Rosie was kept in our bedroom until we fixed the netting on all the windows downstairs, then Rosie had the whole house to herself, Heidi, Tiger and Tabs).  Daffodil and Ginger refused to come in even though we brought them in – they would wait at the door to be let out. They just didn’t want to be in the house anymore.

Then, about a week ago, my husband figure out why. It could be that Daffodil was jealous that Rosie had taken over the bedroom and also taken up so much of our time and attention. She was badly affected by it.  He was right. He started giving more attention to Daffodil and she was more willing to remain inside, but still at a distance from Rosie.

Yesterday, Daffodil groomed Ginger for a very, very long time. Perhaps that is the way they both grieve.  Animals do grieve, that is for sure, but in ways that only they understand.  We are trying to understand too, and in doing so, we must not humanise them. We have to let them be who they are. That is respect.  

Morning breakfast (Pole is behind Bunny).

I am sure the InsideCats are affected by Rosie’s passing as well. They were all so quiet and well-behaved during Rosie’s final hours on Thursday. Not a single sound from them. Cow was especially concerned about me. After Rosie breathed her last and we had done whatever we could to prepare her remains, Cow came to the grille to call me. I know he wanted to comfort me. Cow always does that, which is ironical – he has a cranky behaviour, but he is all heart. He is always the first to know whenever I am sad. You can put on a smile and all and fool all the humans, but Cow knows. He always does.

We fixed this netting on one of the panels of the patio grilles on Wednesday. The idea was that we would open the sliding door slightly so that Rosie cannot go out (we knew she wouldn’t be able to climb the netting already) and if we want to let the PatioCats in, we would slide it further and the PatioCats would be able to come in through the un-netted panel (see photo above).

Sadly, we only got to use this for two days. But it is still not wasted, we can use it when Tabs and Tiger come out to “the rest of the house”. But Tabs can climb, so she’ll have to be watched. Tabs is very adventurous and will go out to the garden and even out of the gate.

  See this?

Indy WANTS very much to come out. He sort of knew everywhere has been netted (how he knows, I don’t know, but he knows), so he thinks there is no reason for us not to let him out. But Indy sprays, so…. And Indy is incredibly smart, so is there a loophole somewhere….? If we want to know, we’ll have to let Indy out and follow him.

The other time, before we netted the upstairs windows right to the top, Indy climbed out and went to the roof. Jia-Wen had to climb out through the fire-exit window and walk on the roof to get him to come back. Indy did come back, but he was quite annoyed. “I KNOW how to come back, you fools! What? You think cats are dumb?? Our sense of smell is 40 times better than yours!”

 I have to feed the PatioCats separately now. The first wave is early dawn but Vincent comes back later. 

And Zurik, even later.

So, it’s three rounds of feeding for the PatioCats.

We’re doing it in the kitchen for now, but later, once the equilibrium is balanced, we can probably do it at the patio again.

Vincent eats a very heavy breakfast and he eats lighter at lunch and sometimes, skips dinner. He LOVES barf and dislikes kibble unless it’s the very taste type like RC or Tuscan.

And during the second wave, Daffodil and Heidi will wait for left-overs.

I would like to believe that there really is a Rainbow Bridge where all animals go to after their tour on earth. A place where they roam freely, play happily, have lots of healthy food and is always safe – safe from evil humans and politicians.  A place where only human animal lovers go to as well. If there is really a Rainbow Bridge, I don’t aspire to go to any human heaven, I’ll prefer to go to Rainbow Bridge.

I believe all animals go to a heavenly realm because they have such pure hearts.

We are waiting for Rosie’s ashes to be returned to us now. Thank you, James Kho and Mr Wong, for your very compassionate service.

Source: https://myanimalcare.org/2017/04/01/early-morning/

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AnimalCare is a registered society that promotes caregiving to street animals and helps in their neutering and medical needs. AnimalCare has a Medical Fund, Food Fund and Education Fund.

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