I’m not in the habit of dwelling in the negative, but sometimes, in the course of dealing with so many different types of humans, the ugly human annoys you, and you just have to say your piece, if only to preserve your much-needed sanity.
I’ll get straight to the point, say all that I want to say and move on as there’s lots to do.
1. There are those who demand for help. Not ask, but demand. Please don’t do that. Nobody on earth owes anybody anything. Even our parents don’t owe us anything. If you need help, please ask nicely. It doesn’t hurt to say “please”. And if we cannot help, it means we cannot. Scolding and badmouthing us would not make any difference.
2. There are those who have a total disregard and disrespect for rules and regulations.
a. We have policies: http://myanimalcare.org/policies/. The simplest one is we request the rescuers who bring in their animals to be spayed-neutered at our two panel vets, under our sponsorship (note: we are paying) to please text me upon sending the animal and again, to text me after the animal has been collected (it only costs at most 30 sen for the two smses). The reason for this is, we are paying, so I need an update on what is happening. The appointment has been made, I need to know if the animal has been sent. I work too, and do not have time to be present at the clinic unless it is after working hours. I also need to know how the surgery had gone and if complications had arisen. I need to know if the animal has been collected as we do not cover boarding. There had been cases where the rescuer does not collect the animal after that, and conveniently lets the animal stay on without informing the vet. It would be good also, if the rescuer could update me in the next few days to let me know how the animal is faring (many rescuers do this and I’d kneel down and bow to them for their thoughtfulness).
b. Animal shelters have rules and regulations too. Once an animal has been surrendered to any shelter, it is subject to the shelter’s rules and regulations. Please find out its rules and regulations before you leave your animal there. Very often, rescuers ask me to be the go-between to ask shelters for favours. This I do, for the animal concerned, but the human rescuer gives trouble after that, and this destroys my goodwill with the shelters. There was a case where a few animals had been captured and surrendered to the shelter. I was asked to locate these animals. The animals were found. The rescuer then asked me to blog for adoption for these animals. I cannot do that, because once the animals have been surrendered, the shelter has its own procedures before the animal is declared fit and ready for adoption. I would also need the consent of the shelter before I publicise their animals for adoption. But some rescuers refuse to understand this, and they have a total disregard for rules, so they put up photos of the animals on the various social networks and urge people to go immediately to the shelter to take the animals out. But the shelter will not release the animals unless the person who surrendered them reclaims them. Can you see how many problems and unpleasantness would occur just because we do not follow rules? So, please always abide by rules and seek the consent of the shelter concerned. Rules are meant to be followed.
3. There are those who have a total disrespect of time. Appointments are made but they do not turn up. I completely understand the ubiquitous traffic jams and parking problem, but most people carry a handphone these days. Would it be too much to ask that you inform the vet or me that you are delayed in a traffic pile-up? Please understand that when appointments are made, that slot has been reserved for your animal and hence, another animal may be deprived of that slot. When you don’t turn up, the slot is wasted and the vet’s time is also wasted. Watches were invented so that we can tell the time, and maintain order in our social lives so that we can live in harmony with others.
4. There are those who ask for help, citing great urgency, but when you revert to them, they are out of reach….completely! We have the following modes of communication – phone, sms, email, and various other kinds of apps on those little gadgets that we carry around in our pockets. Please keep these gadgets on and within reach of reception if you are asking for help so that we can contact you and receive replies from you. There was a case of a rescuer needing help and had asked me to blog, but after she had received the help she wanted, she conveniently turned off her phone. She said too many people were calling her to offer help, so she just turned off her phone. Doesn’t she even consider how those respondents would feel? And who would trust me again, if I blogged for help in future? Are we living in a culture of selfishness where we give zero consideration to others?
5. There are those who think they are the centre of the world. There was a case of a man who asked for spaying help sometime ago. I said I needed a photograph of the animal first. He said he did not know how to send a photo, so I asked him to ask any younger person for help. He finally got his son to upload the photo. On the day of the appointment, he did not turn up with the animal as it had run away. But he also did not inform me, so the slot was wasted. After about two months, he texts me and says he wants the appointment as he had caught the elusive animal again. I said I needed a photo, and he said, “I’ve already sent it to you two months ago, look for it!”. Hmm…I don’t have time to look for it, Uncle, I said. I’ve got many things to do and I receive up to 50 emails in a day. And as though that was not bad enough, he says he’s bringing the animal the next day since an appointment had been made two months ago, it should still stand! My jaw literally dropped and I actually did not know what to say to such pushyness. Then, he went on and on complaining about the fact that surgery is not done immediately and the animal has already been fasted. So I said he could bring the animal to his own vet since he was so unhappy with ours. But no, he wanted it “free”. No surgery is free, Uncle, I said. WE PAY. It’s not free. Then he said, “I don’t care, I want you to pay, it’s not even my cat, it’s a stray.” Yup…these are humans sent to earth to test our patience. We ought to be grateful to them.
6. Previously when we had more panel vets, I worked on a system where we would settle the bill first and the rescuer could re-donate to our fund, an agreeable sum. As expected, there would be those who promised to pay, but conveniently “forget”. There was one who has owed us money for one year. My email reminders were totally ignored. However, recently, she needed help, so she texted me and emailed me again. We helped her cats, and I reminded her that she still owes us money. She said she’d pay this time. I’m still waiting. After quite a number of such experiences, I’ve stopped sending reminders to people nowadays. I would expect them to honour their word, and if they don’t, it’s ok. But the worse kind are those who promise OTHERS they’d support them, but the money does not come after that. There was a case of a person who pledged a monthly donation to a small shelter we highlighted. The monthly donations never arrived; only a one-time donation and that’s it. My point is, if one cannot donate or cannot pay, just say so. Please do not promise and not honour one’s word. Others may actually depend and rely on that pledge. We are animals who have the gift of speech and communication. We can speak. So let us speak and honour our word.
7. And there are those well-meaning friends who ask for help on behalf of someone else. If that someone else is not literate and don’t know how to use the computer, I understand. But I’d still prefer to deal with the requester himself/herself. I do not want misunderstandings, miscommunication and the relay of inaccurate information. It can make many things go wrong and get me in to a whole lot of trouble! Please see last story below.
8. There are also those who, after receiving help, cannot even manage a simple “thank you”. They just walk off thinking it was their right that you have helped them. And also those who think vets should give discounts since the animal they brought in was a stray. And why should vets give us any discount, unless they want to. They don’t have to. A vet is not a social welfare worker. It is a profession by choice.
9. And when we made mistakes which cause inconveniences to others, which happens at times, intentionally or unintentionally, it helps a lot to say “sorry”. This one single magical word changes the entire mood and restores goodwill. Many mistakes are unintentional, but if we come right out and just say “sorry” instead of creating all kinds of excuses to cover up our mistake or worse, to justify it (I didn’t see your sms, I was too busy, I missed your email, I didn’t hear my phone ring, I’m up to my neck in work, I’m tired, etc.), people would actually respect us more.
I could go on and on but I’ll end this now with a personal story:
When I first started AnimalCare, I was naive and foolish. I hadn’t learn the ropes. A lady from New Zealand appealed for help through a few of the animal social networks and said her mother (in Malaysia) had sent her petdog to one of our local shelters and that it was due to be euthanised on a certain date. Since she was in New Zealand, can everyone please help rescue her dog and take it out of the shelter?
Like a fool, I posted for help on this blog (please see links below).
A few days later, the manager of the shelter called me, and informed me that there was no such dog at his shelter. He also gave me a good telling off (which I rightly deserved and am thankful for) and said in future, to please check my facts before publishing anything. And yes, I know I could have been sued for publishing wrong information on a public blog.
Of course I immediately apologised to the manager and I then posted a public apology to the shelter on the blog and a clarification that the dog was never surrendered at the shelter in the first place (again, please see link below).
http://myanimalcare.org/2009/12/megan-english-cocker-due-to-be-euthanised/ (the post)
http://myanimalcare.org/2009/12/paws-clarification-and-our-apology/ (our apology)
http://myanimalcare.org/2009/12/an-explanation-from-megans-owner/ (the clarification)
My point is, we all make mistakes all the time, and most of the time, it is due to our ignorance or foolishness. Whatever justifications (reasons or excuses) we have for our mistakes, it is much easier to just say “I’m so sorry” than to go on the defensive and come out with a list of excuses trying to right a wrong. A mistake is a mistake, and that’s that. We may adamantly see it as something right, but the other party will also adamantly see it as a wrong.
So, just say “sorry” and move on with goodwill and peace?
And ever since that incident, the manager who told me off, has actually become a really good friend who helps us a lot in our work!
See my point?
An unpleasant start need not result in an unpleasant future. Things can turn around. The keyword here is a genuine and sincere “SORRY”, and to learn the mistake and not repeat it again.
And my last word on this is – if I’ve offended you in this post, I’m sorry. No excuses. No reasons. I just had to say my piece and get it off my chest. I’m sorry if you are offended.
And, thank you for reading this!
I need to move on now. We have LOTS to do for today.
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