I slept next to Indy last night.
In the middle of the night, he came out from the carrier and sat on the floor. He looked “well”. I gave him some water by syringe too and he did not reject it. At this stage, it’s all about how well I can “read” what Indy wants. It’s not easy, but I try my best. I know from my limited experience in caring for end-stage animals that once they reject food, we must not force it on them.
By morning, he had gone under the bed to his usual spot. This under-the-bed spot had been Indy’s spot ever since he lost his appetite. He is sitting up, as stoic as ever.
 
The vet didn’t think Indy would last through yesterday though she said he might. I only have the Ratinidine injections until this evening. This medicine is to reduce the amount of stomach acid and address ulcers too so I think this is important. Moreover, it is subcut injection which I can administer myself.
There is also the Sucralfate oral suspension which serves to form a barrier over stomach ulcers to allow it to heal or in Indy’s case, to prevent it from getting worse or bleeding more. But this has to be given orally, so I had to pull Indy out from under the bed to give it to him just now. He wasn’t too happy with it. He also didn’t want water by syringe anymore, so I left a bowl of water nearby for him, just in case he might want some.
As I looked through Indy’s colourful medical history yesterday, when he was 3 years old, he was really sick and two of the most renowned vets in the Klang Valley collaborated in his case only to conclude that they didn’t know what caused him to be so sick. Of course, as always, Indy bounced back after that through sheer trial and error. But during this episode, it was already discovered that his right kidney was smaller than the left, and I now remember that that one of the vets said Indy would just have to depend on one kidney for the rest of his life. So perhaps Indy was born with only one functional kidney? Or was the right kidney impaired when he was so ill inside the drain when we rescued him at about 2 weeks old? We will never know now. But to have lived a full life for 16 years with one functional kidney is already a bonus, isn’t it? Indy had several episodes every now and then, always related to gastro-intestinal problems, which made him really sick, baffled vets but he would bounce back. That is why we joked that Indy does his own TCM (Traditional Cat Medicine). But I knew the day would come when he just wouldn’t be able to bounce back anymore.
I requested for stem cell therapy for Indy for his kidneys too and the vet obliged even though she told me not to expect much from it. That was done on 5th January this year (with Ginger and Tabs), but it looks like that did not work at all. Or maybe it did, but only for a short while? We will never know. But at least I left no stone unturned. I did everything I could have done for him.
I remember Vincent, my first-ever CKD cat. There was a time when the vet told me to just take him home because she thought he was about to go “anytime”. I did, but Vincent stayed on for weeks after that.
And there was Pole, who hung on way past her time for about 4 weeks. It was heart-wrenching, but we have to respect life. That is what I feel. Life is to be respected and supported. It is not that we want them to hang on (and as most people would say, to “suffer” – this is not a word anyone would like to hear), but there is still life with all its faculties, there is consciousness, the brain and the heart are still functioning. And yes, for Indy’s case, the kidneys have failed, but the lifeforce is still there. It has to be respected and supported in all ways possible.
“Suffering” is relative. Pain threshold and tolerance are also individual traits. So is acceptance.
It takes a lot of mental strength to support and care for end-stage terminal patients. But that is what we have to do when we have taken them under our care. It is a package deal, isn’t it? Every living being is born to eventually die. As brutal as that sounds, nobody can deny that. We are all born with a death sentence (that’s really brutal, but can you say it’s untrue?).
The vet told me yesterday that one of her feline patients is 22 years old, kidneys intact and still grumpy. My first question was: What does he eat? The vet said he ate “everything”, from kibble to canned, cooked food to raw food. “It’s the genes”, she said. I agree. While nutritionists like to say that “you are what you eat”, I doubt that is entirely true. Just take a look at humans, some eat the healthiest diets and yet, also fall sick and die young. But of course if we ate nothing but only fast food, that’s definitely asking for trouble, isn’t it? But lifespan and health isn’t entirely dependent on lifestyle, nutrition or environment; it also depends on our genes. And our genes depend on our parents and ancestors.
But I think life is a bit like buying a lottery ticket. It’s 50% chance and 50% effort (how well you look after yourself). When a new life is made, it’s like spinning the Wheel of Fortune. That’s what it is.
Don’t bring anymore new life into this imperfect world: Neuter, neuter, neuter. But for the life that is already here, we have to respect and support it with all our love and care.
The post Indy, as stoic as ever and reflections on life appeared first on AnimalCare.
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