Butch - Professional Food Thief & Eating Machine, Part 2

Back in Part 1, we were investigating the mystery of the missing junk food in LASSie, and we were absolutely stumped. Until a month later, when I caught sight of something beneath my bed…

There he was, Butch, in all his rounded pudgy glory, wedged under the bed like an overstuffed suitcase. Cradled tenderly between his front paws was a packet of oatmeal cookies that he must have stolen off the top of the refrigerator. Nothing but crumbs remained and these he lovingly licked up off the floor. He glanced at me and then continued his painstaking search for crumbs. Resigned to being caught red-handed, there was nothing for him to do but go on.

Too amused to be annoyed I could only laugh as he then struggled to get himself out from under the bed. This proved to be no easy task. He was really stuffed in there and was practically carrying the bed frame on his back. Fat bulged everywhere as he squirmed, strained, and wriggled his way out. It was like watching someone try to thread spaghetti through the eye of a needle. After much huffing, puffing, and trying to squeeze out from different sides of the bed, Butch gave up and looked at me sheepishly. He sighed with relief as I lifted the bed off him and then without so much as an apologetic glance or acknowledgment of guilt, he grabbed his empty cookie packet and lumbered out of the room.

Both of us gained an important lesson from this incident. I learned not to leave food out anywhere, not even on a high place if it wasn’t totally secure. Butch learned not to hide under my bed or under anything else, with stolen goods because clearly, getting stuck was his Achilles heel. So the next time Butch planned a heist, he did the total opposite and I was caught completely off guard.

I had recently started keeping all food items in one of four drawers in a bureau when Butch struck again. I was distracted by the arrival of a new puppy at the sanctuary and didn’t wonder why Butch was lying in the middle of the yard so deep in concentration that he didn’t even greet me. Butch doesn’t ever lie down in the yard. A pampered pooch, he prefers shade, cosy corners, couches, and mattresses. Also he never fails to greet me with a friendly and investigative sniff in the hopes that I’ve brought him a tasty treat. Oblivious to Butch’s strange behavior, I went straight to the puppy’s room for some play-time.

I emerged about half an hour later giddy from an overdose of puppy cuteness to find Butch still lying in the middle of the yard. This time I noticed that he was surrounded by little bits and pieces of something mysterious. Upon closer inspection I realized that he had demolished the entire contents of my little snack drawer. Two cup noodles were taken, the packaging shredded, and the contents devoured including the packets of sauce and seasoning powder. Yet another can of potato chips had been stolen, the packaging also shredded to tiny bits, and the chips gone without a trace. A bag of nachos once bursting with crunchy yumminess now lay sad and empty on the ground. This was quite possibly, the unhealthiest day Butch had ever had in his life.

He looked up at me without a trace of guilt and that was when I saw it, a can of tuna between his paws. I’m not sure how he intended to open that, but it was clear that he had been thinking about it for quite some time. The can was covered in dog drool but he hadn’t been able to even dent it. He just knew that there had to be something in there that he could eat and he wanted it – can opener or no can opener! I had to admire his determination but still I confiscated the tuna and went back to my room. There I saw that every drawer was hanging wide open, everything removed and scattered around the floor in Butch’s quest for food.

Since then, he has opened all my drawers every day without fail in the hope that I haven’t learned my lesson and will continue to store food there. He doesn’t even try to hide his intentions anymore. Often I find him sitting in front of the open drawers, staring mournfully at the absence of unhealthy snacks and wondering what he had done to deserve such horrible treatment. But I love that glutton Butch and that is why he will never get his grubby chubby paws on my junk food again – until he outsmarts me once more that is.

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Lynette Lim

After 5 years as a money market broker in Kuala Lumpur I now live and work at the Langkawi Animal Shelter & Sanctuary Foundation at the beautiful Bon Ton and Temple Tree Resorts on Langkawi Island. I have always had a passion for rescuing and fostering animals. Now I get to live my dream and dedicate my life to animal welfare.

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